The Story of Saint Geronimus
By Baroness Rowena de Segovia
Many years ago, at the foot of the dusty La Loma hills in Dreiburgen, there lived a delicate little boy. This poor child was beset by so many allergies that he could never go out to play. Such was his fate that one day, in a fit of frustration and disobedience, he went out—in spite of numerous parental warnings—into the hot, dry brush. He was free—released from his domestic prison! Instantly, he was burnt to a crisp and his nose promptly fell off. Now, nose-less, the child fled into the hills, repentant of his misdeed, but too late! Altered, he was left to wander until he came upon a cave. It was there, among the rattle snakes and tarantulas, that he found himself at peace. Here he could ponder his sufferings and nose-less fate.
Over time, word spread about a strange man living among the hills. It was said that the man lacked a nose but possessed numerous powers in its stead. Therefore, many came to seek the strange man’s counsel. Would he bless them with hope? Could he remove their problems? And what of their many dusty, nasal impasses? Only this saintly man could answer their afflictions. It was Saint Geronimus that they sought! He would answer their requests!
But the saint was prone to interpret freely with his wisdom. One had to word the supplication cautiously; after all, he was a man of little formal knowledge and experience. If the distraught pilgrim spoke too rashly, St. Geronimus was known to answer the supplicant literally. As a result, one lady seeking peace from nasal itches, left the itches in the hermit’s cave but gained influenza instead. Meanwhile, one gentleman who sought power and glory found himself overseeing a land of unruly citizens. Finally, there was the lord who desired youth, and for his wish was given a child- bride.
After these results, there were those who feared the holy man’s powers and so tried to appease him. They brought him sprays and cloths (in case he came across his errant nose). Others brought him love in the form of letters and posies. These, most tragically, have been lost to time. It is only St. Geronimus who knows of their location and appearance. Still, the truly devout have not lost faith. Each year they seek out the holy man and search for his relics. It is through his relics that they hope that Saint Geronimus will answer their needs with correct interpretations…hopefully.
Ballad of St. Geronimus
And he became a saint in his time
And that is why we celebrate his name
His nose became a rally cry
To fighters of great fame
Geronimus was his name
"If thine eye offends thee then pluck it from thy face,
and if thine hand offends thee then remove it from its place
with sharpened steel held in his hand he sought to end his woes
he brought down the bitter blade and dispatched with his nose"
"Into the land of swollen glands and red inflamed adenoids..."
--Another reader says: "These are the lines I recall beyond what the Compendium Caidis has listed."
He was just a tender lad Struggling through life Doing all that he could do To set the world right No sunlight ever touched his face That was his sorry plight To hide behind the darkened walls To live eternal night
If he breathed a mote of dust his head would stop up fast
He turned to prayer for help Between the sneezes and the wheezes and the fires of hell
Saint Geronimus is best known for answering all prayers made in his name. His miracles are vast and undeniable. Which is why we recommend that you never pray to him, for everyone that does gets exactly what they ask for.
Examples of St G. Miracles
Baron Malcolm Alberic once prayed to Saint Geronimus for help. He was concerned that he might have transportation problems and find him stranded in the desert halfway to Estrella War. He asked Saint Geronimus to protect him from this possibility. Saint Geronimus answered Malcolm’s prayer, His troubles happened close to home so he could not go to Estrella at all. The expenses the troubles cost Malcolm kept him from going to a number of other events as well, thus he wasn’t stranded in the desert.
THL Drusilla of Montrose was concerned about weather predictions for an up coming war. She prayed to Saint Geronimus asking him to let her sleep warm and dry at the war. Her prayer was granted, the storm was diverted and the war was warm and dry. When she got home she discovered that the storm had been diverted to Dreiburgen and her house was ankle deep in water and mud.
Lord Aladric of Litchfield could not find the time to draft up the new patterns for the Baronial Pavilion. He prayed to Saint Geronimus to help him find the time he needed. Almost immediately Aladric had an accident that resulted in a broken toe. He had to spend time at home convalescing and used the time with his foot up to finish the pavilion patterns.
The Barony of Dreiburgen holds an annual tournament in his honor.
- Known dates of St. Geronimus Tournaments
- Nose Melee (last Fighter to still have his nose wins)
- Best Relic
- Best Miracle
- Best Addition to the saga
- Heraldry Contest with some obscure theme
No one is quite sure, but the person most often credited with the promulgation of the Cult of St. Geronimus is Baroness Rowena de Segovia who was quite susceptible to colds, allergies and respiratory ailments herself. At one of the early St. Geronimus tournaments, Adrian Buchanon and a number of others from Redlands showed up as devotees in all white. Quite by coincidence, I also arrived in a white hastily crafted monk's robe and joined them. Adrian took this one step further, however. Since he had a rather flat nose, he bandaged it up and applied fake blood to make it appear that he had sacrificed his nose in dedication to the saint. There was some question of how respectable we were being to religious tradition, but we had fun with it. It's probably not something we could get away with these days. ~ Eadwynne
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