Beorn of the Northern Sea

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Beorn at Queen's Champion for Cassandra II, 2013
Information
Preferred title: Not specified
Their Pronouns: Not specified
Resides: Gallavally in Dreiburgen
Status: Active
Awards: Visit the Caid Order of Precedence
Heraldry
Device 3.0.png
Per bend sinister embattled grady gules and argent, a lyre and a dolphin urinant counterchanged, within a double-tressure sable
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Baron Beorn of the Northern Sea is a simple friendly every day fighting bard of indeterminate mass.

Persona History

Baron Beorn of the Northern Sea, known at various times as Giuseppe Lorenzo Domenico Angelo de Medici, Brother Johannes, Marcus Commodus Maximus, and Ito Nobunaga was born in 1270 of the common reckoning. His mother, a dark impish maiden with a golden voice, had fallen for a Norse adventurer and their forbidden tryst led to fleeing the Kingdom of Dublin. Traveling the North Sea in summer, as her birthing time approached, they landed at the Shetland monastery on Lerwick. She was both very close to her time, and very ill. Beorn's father said he would go to fetch help from his family in Norway.

He never returned...

She delivered up her son and they asked her to name the child, she said Beorn, though he was baptized Johannes so as to not remain named of the Heathen. She held him in her arms and sang to him until she died a few hours later. A ruddy, powerfully built Irishman arrived a month after, claiming to be the girl's father. He saw the child, said for the monks to keep him, turned on his heel and never looked back. It was then Beorn became an oblate of the church.

He was raised to be a priest; trained in music, letters, medicine and husbandry. Before taking his final vows he was sent to the conflict happening on the main of Scotland, ostensibly as the Latin tutor for Robert the Bruce. He saw English knights running down unarmed commoners, and an anger rose in him; with his shepherd's crook he smote one of the riders clean off of his horse. The remaining English wheeled and turned to kill this upstart cloister, when Duke John Bearkiller and a small Welsh contingent crested the hill, intent on ridding the whole of the Island from English tyranny.

John liked this giant youth, gave him his seal, lent him some coin and told him to leave Scotland and find out who he really was, seeing as the priesthood was unsuitable. Beorn spent the next fifteen years engaging in a series of adventures hiring out as a minstrel, a mercenary, a clerk, a physic, and cook.

After settling in Meridies, Beorn, now a bard of some renown, apprenticed to the great Mistress Vashti. In his heady moments he then eloped with a minor lady from the Danish Kingdoms (apparently against the wishes of everyone, family and friend) and fled to Caid. Immediately after having a daughter, he was kidnapped by a merchant raider bound for the Orient. It was there Beorn's great size and strength was again put to the test, as he was sold to a wrestler's stable and he fought for the entertainment of the crowds for seven years, before escaping and making the long trek back to Caid.

Upon his return, he had been given up for dead, his lady remarried, and all his lands were seized in oath-price for the illegal elopement. He was battered, scarred, and unlanded... But, he was not broken. He seeks to reclaim his lands, his honor, and serve the kingdom as best he may.

Offices & Positions

Event Staff

Associations

  • Apprentice to Her Excellency Mistress Sarita Vashti Al Coya, Gleann Abhann
  • Squire to His Grace Duke John the Bearkiller, OP, Gleann Abhann
  • A Pawn in Clan Gambit, Glean Abhann
  • Member of Inter-Kingdom Brewing Guild, "The Knaves of Grain"
  • Scholar of Fence, Caid Rapier Open Tournament, Darach 1998
  • Member of Fifth Brigade
  • Member of Upper Crust
  • A Founding Member of The Island of Rhodes

Classes Taught

Assorted Poems

Crown Poem for Agrippa Morris

"Surrounded by Greatness" the Song of Agrippa

"As one of war, to stand still is to court death. Yet to wage peace, one must be still."


The mighty ship's bow cuts through sheets of grey water

Just like a new blade hews through curtains of steel

Caid sends a call in the search for a Sovereign

The greatest shall travel to endure the ordeal.


Agrippa the warrior stands at the forecastle

While Bridget the warrior stands by his side

Sailing towards the most daunting adventure

Arriving with quickness upon Neptune's tide.


"Strike true and show mettle," the baroness whispered

Agrippa then nodded and strode to the field

Sir Helgi was waiting and drew down in earnest

Agrippa moved forward; the raven did yield.


The Saracen Mountain, Count Mansur, stood ready

Once more did Agrippa move to the next round

Athanaric's most knightly presence blockaded

For naught as Agrippa still held to his ground.


His Honor, good Oz of the Rus braced for contest

Agrippa continued unfettered by loss

Sir Thorin, though bathed in the pure Persian sunlight

Kneeled down with respect to the Saint Brigid's Cross.


A calm in the battle, a respite of sorts

Allowed our Agrippa to marshal his nerve

Wise Bridget was ready to defend should he need her

Such prowess is comforting when in reserve.


And thus came the battle to Crown Caid's Sovereign

Sir Kjartan was ready, Agrippa as well

The contest was mighty, the fighting was noble

Agrippa remained as the great lion fell.


Then Bridget said, "please turn and look there behind you,

These fallen, the vanquished, those seeking the Crown

These nobles, these warriors; no longer your foemen

As they lift you up, you must not let them down."


Agrippa could see, with the eyes of a hunter

The battle to rule is preparing to fight

And now the true contest lays gleaming about you

To serve as The King of the Blue and the White!

A Poem in Honor of Don Alexander Kallidokos,OP

As commissioned by Her Royal Majesty Caid, Kolfinna kottr:


Too few can match the lethal striking blade,

Or stand against the leaping lion’s might,

Don Alexander, few like you were made,

On you we may depend in any fight!


But let us not forget your genteel grace.

A nobler man could scarcely to be seen.

You serve with no reserve for time or place,

And doing so bring honor to your Queen!


There was a time when you did stand alone,

All fellow guards had fallen for Caid.

With blade well set and in a razor hone,

You vanquished all, what an impressive deed!


Some champions win the Consort’s field by arms,

Some through their arts or skills, by strength or guile.

But Alexander conquers with his charms,

His sword, his faith, his honor and his style!


It’s said that I sport an impressive span,

But Kallidokos has the larger heart,

In point of fact he is the greater man,

By bearing, manner, and the courtier’s art.


He slays the foes; he honors ladies all,

Though slightly built, to me, he’s ten feet tall!

THLord Mikhail of the Kuma’s Dirge, 2011

O, listen all and hear this tale of woe!

For as he did, so shall we also go.

Since as the mountains sink into the sea

So do most men meet Death on bended knee.

And as the sky turns rosy, azure, black

The loam will be a pillow to your back.

All fighters travel to the Feasting Hall

The Norns have spun the time when you shall fall.


The Kuma sought the Kingdom of Caid

With Bridget, both do know the warrior’s creed

Their sights upon the Crescent Crowns to wear

‘Pon granite brow and lovely golden hair.

They’ve fought for Blue and White before

And wish to add their names forever more.

A wicked blade that thunders with each stroke,

As eloquent as words the bards bespoke.


Sir Halfdan first to face His Lordship’s might

Bear and Dragon locked in a mortal fight.

Great Kuma often stands the best and last,

Yet ‘twas Halfdan standing as they passed.

But Kuma’s wish to earn Caid’s Thrones

Burned down the center of his bones.

He faced Sir Valrik, another Dragon Knight.

Valrik prevailed, and Kuma lost the fight.


Some leave the barest traces of their life,

No glory, weeping, laughter, toil or strife.

These men are little known outside their time,

And rarely are their deeds set down in rhyme.

Just cobweb threads of silk within the mind.

Not so with Kuma, he was not resigned

To be forgotten; cruelest fate for men.

His Word Fame proves that he shall rise again!

Laertes, Laertes, why are you so green?

In the style of Dr. Suess

For Baron Laertes McBride

There is known, in a place Called Altavia fair A long slender man With a fine regal air.

He is cheerful and nice He is pleasant and fun There is no one quite like him Well, I’ve not met one.

He’s quick as a wink He’s slicker than slick When he stands very still He looks just like a stick.

A green stick to be certain A green stick to be sure A stick that’s so stick like And a green nice and pure.

Well, the stick-man, Laertes For that is his name Always guards little kiddies With his rapier’s true aim.

He’s defended the children More than any you know. And his story begins Fifteen long years ago.

For Laertes was born A son of the Black Star (As was your narrator, We both came from thar!)

Ansteorra you know Is a dangerous place Oh the horrors to see! Oh the dangers to face!

There are monsters so scary They can scare with a blink They have teeth sharp as razors They have fur black as ink

And what, do you think, Are these monsters about? With their bumpy blah brows And their snotty snark snouts?

Oh why are these nightmares All about in the night? I can tell you my friends, They just love a good fright!

All the monsters were happy To scare girls and boys In fact, they would call it Their greatest of joys

So the King of his Kingdom Sent a call through the land He was begging for someone To please lend a hand.

“These mean monsters,” he said, “Are all scaring the kids.” So in true Black Star fashion He asked for some bids

When all the proposals Had been seen and heard There was only a handful That were not thought absurd.

The Knights and the Lions Laurels, Pelicans too. And then lonely Laertes. Now, what could he do?

So King Mikael the third Asked his champions in turn What exactly they planned, He should so like to learn.

The knights swaggered up Puffing out their great chests And they said, “We will conquer These insolent pests!”

The Lions walked in And they all took a knee They explained very simply How cunning’s the key

Now who are the Lions? They’re rare people quite nifty, How nifty and rare? There are fewer than fifty.

The Pelicans came And they bowed stiffly down Then showed their dread weapon The “Mean Pelican Frown!”

The King was impressed, But he still wanted more So the Laurels stepped forth And unearthed Laurel lore.

“Unless all the monsters Show documentation, We’ll disallow scaring As a modern convention.”

Quite crafty the King Thought then to himself Then he noticed Laertes Looking like a stretched elf.

“You there,” said the King “What are you planning there?” Don Laertes said simply, “I shall be everywhere…”

Now the knights of the Kingdom Were all laughing quite hard. With their weapons war worn And their armor war scarred.

“Ho HO!” said the knights Most others laughed too Well, the Lions smiled sadly Saying “Luck be with you.”

Laertes, undaunted Kept close to his plan He raced through the Kingdom Ev’ry mile, breadth and span.

Now the monsters would hide When they saw others come But Laertes was ALWAYS Right there, up their bum.

All five groups kept on at it Seemingly to no avail The great King darkly wondered Could they ALL of them fail?

First the knights then the Laurels Ceased fighting their fight Then the Pelicans quit The great nightmarish blight.

Last to halt were the Lions Though all wracking their brains But they finally relented And pulled to on their reins.

Don Laertes, alone Kept on with his goal He traversed all the Kingdom Completely, in whole.

Then by chance, he did hear That the monsters were plotting To destroy the slim fighter They ALWAYS were spotting.

All the monsters then gathered At a glade by a spring And Laertes knew then How to end this whole thing.

Now in Ansteorra There isn’t much green But the green that is seen Is the greenest of green!

Laertes disguised himself As a tall blade of grass And waited with patience For the meeting to pass.

The fiends and the red caps The bogeys, the sprites The will o’ the wisps And the vampires and wights!

Once all the collection Had made themselves known Laertes sprang out And his smile, how it shone!

Now here I must stop With what happened that day For the monsters are missing And Laertes won’t say.

So back to the castle Laertes rode on To tell the assembly The monsters were gone.

“But how?” “What’d you do?” “Just how did you succeed?” The King stopped the chatter And asked of the deed.

“Before I begin,” Said Laertes quite hotly, “I think I should like To address this court motley.”

“You can’t swing a sword At a nightmarish thought. There’s no bones can be broken Or no flesh to get caught.”

“Can you be more cunning Then nightmares of the mind? They come from all corners, Left, right and behind.”

“How can you be meaner Than dreams a child dreads? They attack every moment Children sleep in their beds.”

“And documentation? Are you kidding me? These are monsters by Jove, Not the darn D.M.V.!”

“So, what did I do?” He said with fearsome stare “I told them I’d be there For kids everywhere.”

“When they cry in the night If they fall, skin their knee. All the children will know, They can all count on me.”

“So if the adults Can learn from our past, We’ll guard our dear younglings And the Kingdoms shall last.”

Don Laertes then left Without one more word For Kingdoms all over Had nightmares that stirred.

But why, do you ask, Does he always wear green? Why to honor his victory At that first monstrous stream.

It was then as some grass He made good on his vow To defend all the children Which he does even now.

And throughout his travels He befriends all he can see From the wondrous March Hare To a giant like me.

Ol’ Baron Laertes Won’t fight here alone Not since he has chosen Altavia as home.

For our fanciful Baron Was blessed on his life By sweet Alexandra His beautiful wife.

His last stop, so I hope Is here in Caid There are many cruel monsters We are surely in need.

Why Caid you may ask It is quite hard to say Most likely ‘cause monsters That live attah way!

For in the West Kingdom The oldest reside And those monsters all fear Don Laertes McBride

Laertes is awesome! I am pleased he’s my friend Now, to honor my listeners This poem shall end.


To one of the greatest, most selfless, and honorable men I have met in all my travels…

Miscellany

Societal History

In 1982, I was playing Dungeons & Dragons at the Omniplex Science Center in Oklahoma City. My fighter/magic-user/thief Barnabus the Destroyer had just been slain by a poisoned crossbow bolt. I was informed it would be four hours real time before I could be raised from the dead (secretly, I just think they were tired of the six foot tall kid eating all the Funyuns), so I went wandering about and I heard a commotion downstairs. I looked over the railing and saw, what appeared to me at any rate, people in really interesting Kendo armor hitting each other with big fluffy axes. I went down and introduced myself to the kind-looking gentlemen standing there. He replied, "Hi, my name is William Blackfox."

In 1985 we moved to Atlanta, Georgia, and I attended a tournament called Red Tower. There was a really intimidating-looking knight with a not-so intimidating-looking smile watching me as I sang a piece I had written. I thanked him for his attentiveness, and said, "Hi! I'm Beorn." He replied, "Hello there Beorn, I'm John." And that was my introduction to the man who would later become my knight, Duke John the Bearkiller, OP.

In 1988 we moved to Northern Mississippi and I started attending the events in Memphis before matriculating to The University of Mississippi (Ole Miss). During one of my vocal outbursts (it would be too kind to refer to them as songs) I met the lady who would eventually become my Laurel, Her Excellency Mistress Vashti. As a matter of fact, I was (and still am) her first apprentice. In true clandestine fashion, I received my green belt under the table at a wine bar (the Gewürztraminer was excellent!).

Awards

Things I Like

  • Heavy Fighting
  • Rapier Fighting
  • Archery (target and combat)
  • Performance Arts
  • Composing Music
  • Writing Poetry
  • Cooking (especially sweet stuff!)
  • Consuming the cooking of others
  • Teaching
  • Providing shade for my tiny friends whilst on the battlefield


Photos

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