The battle of the Sloth and the Boar! (The Sequel!)

Sir Sven Orfhendur
fallen in Spring Crown Tourney, A.S. XLII

The battle of the Sloth and the Boar! (The Sequel!)

Remember, Remember, my dearly beloved
The tale of two warriors proud.
One who commanded the dark forest floor
And one who had his head in the clouds.

And as you recall, an untimely meeting
Between the Sloth and the Boar
The wind had joined these two together
In a way that was hard to ignore.

As you well know, it’s hard to battle a sloth
For once they hang on, they never get off.
And boars almost always, carry the day
Ferocious and deadly, there’s few they can’t slay

Exhausted from taking the sloth for a ride,
The boar had bowed low, and said with much pride
“for very few creatures, do I ever say yield
But strange smiling creature, I give you the field!”

Then he issued a challenge to meet him again,
“In six months and day, come sun or high winds”
The sloth nodded slowly, and started to climb
The Boar marked his calendar, awaiting the time.

But alas for the boar, with creatures arboreal
They are easily confused by matters temporal
Up in the fog, is it night? Is it day?
When you’re a easy-going sloth, it’s quite hard to say

Six months later the boar was back on the scene
A punctual pig, in his best black and green
Alas the Sloth, whose clock was quite slow
Unintentionally became another “no-show”

Boar’s lady was an owl, who was clever and wise
The lateness of the sloth, was no great surprise
“Just go back to the field, about every half year,
He’ll get there eventually, trust me, my dear!”

Two years they passed, both morning and night
The beard on the boar, was growing quite white
He mastered 3 hobbies, like knitting chain mail
And raising pet dragons, and using glass flails

Now up in the tree-tops, Lord Sloth had a lady
She sharpened her claws on trees dark and shady
“M’dear and M’love, you had better get going
To miss a good challenge makes a very poor showing!”

And with a slow easy smile, the sloth ambled on down.
It took him 3 months just to get to the ground!
The Boar was quite surprised to see his old Foe
But he picked up his sword, and was ready to go.

The years had passed, but not their great skill
They took to the battle with fervor and will
The Sloth had a hook shot, with considerable SNAP!
The Boar hit his shield, with whappity WHAP!

The forest green, filled with the sound of their blows
The wind of it, stripped the trees! (As you well know!)
The Owl and Pussycat watched by the light of the moon
Knowing that the challenge would be decided quite soon

Alas, one of the leaves, one of the sweet green and golds
(Even better than cheese pizza, or so I am told)
Fell onto the shield, of that dread Battle boar
Its allure Sir Sloth found that he could not ignore

As the shield came forward with a mighty great “Crunch!”
Sir Sloth leaned over and gave it a “Munch!”
And as all seasoned warriors, will happily reveal
It’s best to refrain from eating off other folks shields

So the Sir Boar won the day, from Sir Sloth (the distracted)
When his sword and the helm of the Sloth both impacted.
Let this be a lesson to all, that patience can win the day!
(and always eat Lunch before you go out to play!)

— THLord Thomas Whitehart

... is a wannabe seanachie, an occasional battlefield speed-bump and is blessed with a son (Taliesin, bard in training) and a Lady (Ingilborg Sigmundardottir aka Inga-Wolf). He’s a 12th century Scot, currently trying to convince his Viking Lady to see the Fjords of Ireland..… (Lovely krinkly- bits…full of pure honey…really!)

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