The True and Correct History of the Barony of Dreiburgen from its Founding to the End of the Keebler Dynasty
The True and Correct History of the Barony of Dreiburgen from its Founding to the End of the Keebler Dynasty
(Remember, history is not what happened, but what was said by those who wrote it down)
(Reader Beware: This was written long ago when the people involved were still active. It was written as a "spoof history," not to be taken seriously. It was inspired by a similar farcical piece by Sir Theodric., quoted in this history, In both works, there are a LOT of inside jokes that only these people would understand. I was surprised that people in more recent times took this as some kind of "real history." But since no actual chronicle of Dreiburgen existed, it seemed natural to take this tongue-in-cheek pseudo-history as fact. It is NOT. It was written to be fun. Some of the events described actually happened, but the motivations assigned to them in this story are complete fabrications not in any way aligned with the truth. There was supposed to be a volume II written by another author, but times and temperments change and that would-be author decided it would be better for his/her reputation to write on other subjects. He/she is no doubt wiser than I.)
The Founding
Dreiburgen was founded after a rogue household of Calafians called, “Markheim” overran the local population of Gorgonoth, a Canton of the Barony of Angels. It is said that these Calafian raids were common, but some unknown local leader offered land to the Markheims in exchange for peace and protection. Almost immediately property values plummeted as more and more Markheim crossed the land bridge to settle the area. Gradually, the balance of power shifted, and control of the land was wrested away by the Markheims under Sir Waldt von Markheim and his dred lady, Alison. Thus it was that the Barony of Dreiburgen was annexed to the Principality of CAID. Reportedly, the Principality acknowledged the new Barony in hopes to win support from them in the Principality’s future rebellion and secession from the Kingdom of the West.
Several years went by as the local population toiled under the heavy-handed Markheims. Baroness Alison declared, “Keep them fed, but keep them busy.” Even so, and perhaps because of this, they prospered. The Markheims brought in foreign teachers such as Master Raoul the Urbane to enrich the Barony. But Waldt, seeing a war of secession on the horizon spent much time recruiting and training Baronial warriors. The Principality sought an alliance with the Principality of the Sun and an agreement was presented complete, except for the illumination of the initial letter. The Caidans declared it should be blue while the populace of the Sun insisted on red. Over this seemingly trivial matter, peace changed to hostilities and the shadow of this ill-fated alliance has fallen across time as war upon war, beginning with the failed invasion of Dreiburgen by Atenveldt and future wars between Caid and Atenveldt.
The lands were still wild in those days, and raids were common. Because of proximity, banditos from the Barony of Dreiburgen often raided lands belonging to the Barony of the Angels and vice versa. A solution was reached by the heads of state, Baron Waldt von Markheim, and Baron Frederic of Woodland of Angels. In a mutual agreement, they founded a penal colony of miscreants and outcasts between the two powers to act as a buffer zone. Taking a hint from the founders of Greenland, they named these wild wastes, Heatherwyne, hoping that the name would gather credulous settlers. It worked. The boundaries of Dreiburgen were then from Heatherwyne to Calafia, and to the very borders of Atenveldt. They remained this way until the founding of Gyldenholt. The borderland inhabitants became known as Heatherwinos.
Towards the end of the Markheim Dynasty, a threat came to challenge their supremacy. Sir Aonghais dubh MacTarbh, called the “Duke an Creachainn,” began trading missions into the area. Because this seemed good for the local commerce, he was originally welcomed by the Markheim overlords. Gradually, however, he began to gain the allegiance of divergent great houses of the Barony. One of these houses, Dunmore, had a tradition of service under the Markheims, and were thereunto believed completely loyal. It was not until this household was turned, and with it the Dreiburgen seneschal, Brann Morgan, that the Markheims perceived their danger. A dark and bloody cold war ensued. Strangely enough, this was good for commerce, and both powers thrived through the competition.
The Rise of the Leonese Junta
In the midst of this struggle, a seemingly insignificant independent house, later called the “Leonese Junta,” began their slow crawl to power. Although rumors abound, there has been no verifiable connection between the Leonese Junta and the Lyonesse Uprising in what is now the Barony of Lyondemere. Originally calling themselves the “People’s Army Against Repression,” they began to build a sizable grass roots movement. The Leonese Junta developed considerable political sophistication due to their long years of working under the very noses of the Markheims and the Clan Creachainn. It was then, at what must have seemed to be the height of Markheim and Creachainn power that outside events took a hand, and disrupted Dreiburgen’s internal balance of power.
The Creachainn typically changed their political alignment like a windsock. This made their position both powerful and at the same time precarious. On the other hand, much of the power of the Marheims was derived from the Crown of the West who used them as leverage in Caidan political affairs. Thus, as the Principality of CAID grew hostile towards Western tyranny, Dreiburgen was still considered a “safe” Barony. This changed when the combined might of CAID under Sir Armand de Sevigny broke the shackles of Western dominion. He captured the King and Queen of the West who were staying in residence in Calafia. Forcing a treaty, CAID was granted her independence. Their Western Majesties were thereafter required to carry “Green Cards” for the rest of their reign.
Although there have been subsequent battles with the West, Caid’s Kingdom status was now assured. In the reign of King Martin, the first King after Armand, the political turmoil abated and a certain amount of housecleaning seemed in order. It was at this time that the “Leonese Junta,” began making concerted efforts to gain the favor of the Caidan Crown. Their goal was to oust the Markheims and the Creachainn, and firmly establish themselves as Dreiburgen’s ruling caste. King Martin welcomed the Leonese cause as his own. It seems he felt that the Markheims and the Creachainn were both too dangerous to allow either one to gain complete control of the Barony. Therefore, he gave his royal sanction to the head of the Leonese movement, Lord Leo de Coronado. Twelfth Night, a major Kingdom event, was then scheduled for Dreiburgen. It is not known exactly what took place, but it is known that Baron Waldt and Baroness Alison announced their resignations at the event, and quickly left the Kingdom. Duke Aonghais and much of his house were cast from the Kingdom soon after. Leo and Rowena were installed as Royal Vicar and Vicaress under King Martin for the Barony of Dreiburgen. The following article was authored by Theodric Pendar of Faulconwood and printed in the Crown Prints in October of AS XIV:
Report by Theodric Pendar of Faulconwood
In recent months, there has been a freeze on official news reports from the Barony of Dreiburgen. However, several months ago, a report was leaked out of Dreiburgen indicating a massive power struggle had begun following the departure of Baron Sir Waldt von Markheim and Baroness Alison von Markheim for the wilderness of Atenveldt. Rumors have been circulating that Dreiburgen has been undergoing a cultural revolution in which the massive following of the new Baron and Baroness were demanding a removal of many Baronial officers.
Now the situation has appeared to stabilize and Dreiburgen has issyed an official news release naming the current Baronial officers. From this news release, Dreiburgen watchers throughout the Knowne World have been able to determine what has transpired in Dreiburgen during the recent news blackout.
Dreiburgen watchers agree that following the departure of the Markheims, the ruling council selected Lord Leo de Coronado and Lady Rowena de Segovia as Baron and Baroness, in the belief that they would serve as titular heads of state while the actual power would remain with the ruling council. However, in an action unprecedented in the annals of Dreiburgen history, the masses rallied behind their new Baron and Baroness and demanded the removal of the ruling council known as the “Gang of Four.” The Gang of Four was made up of the Seneschal, Marshal, Mistress of Sciences and Mistress of Arts. With strong popular support, the new Baron and Baroness were able to force the removal of these officers and replace them with members of their following. The official news release indicates that these new officers are: Lord Theodric Pendar of Faulconwood, as Seneschal; Baron Leo de Coronado as Marshal; Adrian Buchanon as Master of Sciences; and Ataniel Unesse o Imaldris as Mistress of Arts.
The only two major officers to survive this purge are Lord Hrorek Halfdane of Faulconwood and Lady Kyna Analisa Dunmore of Galloway, who remain as Baronial Herald and Exchequer respectively. An unidentified high ranking official in Dreiburgen has leaked information regarding the fate of the so-called “Gang of Four.” The former Marshal and Mistress of Sciences have apparently fled across the borders of Dreiburgen to safety. The former Mistress of Arts and former Seneschal, however, were assigned to remote areas of the Barony for rehabilitation; indeed, the former Seneschal has just resurfaced as Deputy Herald…”
The Golden Age
The changes instituted by the Leonese Junta included a nominally participatory government, an extended civil service and a decentralized bureaucracy. The internal purges had left few trustworthy active military units, so Baron Leo de Coronado organized the Dreiburgen Archers who fast became the envy of the Knowne World. To further diversify his military power, he sponsored Eichling von Amrum’s Equestrian Unit which gained Kingdom-wide support and participation. The regular army began to rebuild its effectiveness, principally due to the efforts of Theodric Pendar of Faulconwood and a warlord transplant from Heatherwyne named Adrian Buchanon (both were later knighted). Leo maintained a high profile outside the Barony to increase the confidence of outsiders in his ability to maintain the peace and stability of so volatile an area. His efforts helped restore trading and tourism which had virtually disappeared during the civil unrest. In this period of peace, Atanielle Unesse, and Angelina Nicholette (both later granted peerages) were instrumental in Dreiburgen’s cultural rebirth. This time was heralded as the Dreiburgen “Golden Age.”
This Golden Age traditional begins with the knighting of Adrian Buchanon. Adrian won the Crown of Caid in AS XV; after that the eyes of Caid were on Dreiburgen, Crown Barony of Caid. Many members of the Barony received awards and honors long deserved, but seldom recognized. The relationship between King Adrian and Baron Leo proved strong with much mutual support. Baroness Rowena (whose favorite songs include “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” and “Wild Thing,”) was elevated to sainthood by King Adrian, much to the joy of the people. She began collecting relics and shoes. Dreiburgen became a military stronghold.
During this time of peace and prosperity, Eadwynne of Runedun, Squire to Waldt von Markheim, came out of the shadows and began gathering followers in the ghettos of Dreiburgen. He formed a Household, Drachenstern, together with Lord Elgil “the Whip.” Called, “the Catholic Boys,” by Baroness Rowena, “Our Boys in Blue,” or simply “Da Smurfs,” Drachenstern took the front in Caidan retribution against Atenveldt aggression. Drachenstern established a Dreiburgen Armory to ready for wars in Atenveldt. First fighting in several wars in Burro Creek, the Household including the ferocious war-pig Ivar Krigsvin, and a very young Malcolm Alberic (of later fame) soon established a foothold in Atenveldt by constructing a series of castles in what they called “The Great Desert.” Atenveldt, retaliated but it was the unrelenting sun, frigid nights, and blistering sandstorms which finally doomed the colony. Ignoring the herculean efforts of Dreiburgen, Caid decided to let Atenveldt keep the territory which they derisively called, “The Cat Box.”
End of the Golden Age
The Dreiburgen Golden Age ended abruptly with the stepping down of Adrian from the Throne. Rumor has it that frictions built up between the landed Caidan aristocracy and the peripatetic Duke Adrian. Adrian retired to a hermitage and removed himself from the cares of the world. His traditional entourage had holdings in what was then known as the incipient Canton of 616 ½ . they were traditionally called “The Redlands Group,” presumably because of their allegiance to the “red” ducal banner. These people dispersed over much of Caid, a great loss to the Barony, but an enrichment to many others. Without Kingdom support, Dreiburgen’s war effort became defensive and although Dreiburgen continued to fight against Atenveldt in Estrella, they did so with increasingly reduced resources. Dreiburgen Seneschal, Aldred, attempted to reform the remnants of the Baronial Guard, tabarded in baby-blue. Initially called, “The Smurfs,” their berserker-like rage (probably for being teased about their tabards), earned them the name, “The Smurfs from Hell.”
Gallavally, the First Canton
In time, the population of Dreiburgen was swelled by migrations of people from other lands, many of whom had never known the Dreiburgen Golden Age. A power vacuum was left by King Adrian, and the power-hungry provinces within the Barony began rumblings against the control of the aging Leonese regime. The Balkanization of the Barony can be said to have begun with a landless instigator who traveled into the Barony and was known simply as, “Lochlan.” In an easily defensible area later to be called Gallavally, he assembled like-minded individuals, notably Allaine de Beaumont of Glastonbury, Paganus Grimlove, and Thomas Bordeaux. Cautiously, he sought official status from the Leonese rulers of the Barony, and the Barony sent emissaries to assess the group. During the assessment, the area was found to have much promise, and so the Barony established them as a Canton, but installed a more “trusted” leadership, Bhalter de Fairmont and his lady, Islyle le Gannoker de Gavain. To further establish Baronial authority, they put in an official overseer, Countess Ascelyn Schirleah who recruited her equestrian guard under Damales Redbeard in case of revolt. Even so, the founding of a single Canton, Gallavally, put thoughts of independence and insurrection in other areas of the Barony.
Al-Sahid Secession
The Dreiburgen territory of Al-Sahid, was far from the power center of the Barony. Seeing the illusion of independence gained by Gallavally, they sought to become their own Canton and elect their own leaders. They began to refer to the commands of the weak Baronial Council as mere “blatherings of Downtown Dreiburgen.” The Council in retort called them “Scorpions” for their attempts at independence. Al-Sahid took on this epithet as a badge of honor and put the scorpion upon their banners. Baron Leo finally granted Al-Sahid Cantonal status and sent his seneschal Aldred von Lechsend aus Froschheim to remind them to stay loyal to the Barony. Aldred, called “the Keebler,” was not seen as intimidating and so Al-Sahid broke off to become their own Shire.
The Balkanization of Dreiburgen
This sent ripples across the Barony. Sensing weakness, more Baronial territories began seeking autonomy. The provinces of Steinsee and Desert March soon began rattling their sabers demanding concessions from the Barony. Being politically astute, Aldred convinced the Baronial Council to grant these requests, “Let them all become Cantons,” with the understanding that those divided are more easily ruled. It then became established Baronial policy to find particularly talented officers within the Cantons and draft them as Baronial officers before they could become a threat to central authority. At some point, Aldred and his lady Melasandra Sandifer, no longer content with running the Barony from behind the throne, wrested the Coronets from the Leonese rulers, and became Baron and Baroness. However, Aldred had already sowed the seeds of his own downfall by giving Baronial power and authority to people whose roots were Cantonal. Within a few years they were toppled by the combined efforts of Sir Thurstan de Barri (of Desert March) and Allaine de Beaumont of Glastonbury (of Gallavally) who put the Baronial Coronets upon their own brows. The power of “Downtown Dreiburgen” was broken and was ignominiously reduced to a Cantonal state, under the name, “Mons Draconis.” Later, when Uilliam an Tarbh Baile na hAbhann and Luighseach nic Lochlainn became Baron and Baroness of Dreiburgen, the Pagus Sancti Geronimi was carved out of Mons Draconis and established as their Baronial Seat.
Here ends Volume One.
